Reflections (Feb.4/12)

I'm thinking back on some of my experiences in Brazil, and the past 3 weeks since we got back home. I'm often thinking of Karah, one of the adult Freeman children. She's 23, and returned last May after spending 4 years studying in the US to become a teacher. (Well, actually, teaching is a God-given gift, in my opinion. The 'education' is just a formality that society wants...and she obliged...) Anyways, this past trip was the first opportunity our family had to really get to know her, and we are so glad we did. She's a wonderful person, and definitely a lovely example of a Godly young woman. She has taken over most of the kitchen/cooking responsibilities while she's at home. During the school year she'll be spending much of her time in Pombos, at the mission school. But Karah has great need of our prayers. She suffers from constant pain, and yet to watch her work throughout the day, and to see her lovely, gentle smile, you wouldn't have a clue of her suffering. Apparently she began to have pain in her eyes when she was 12 years old. That continued. In years past she suffered back pain. That was found to be caused by a back tumour (like the one that her older brother Ben had a few years ago). After an operation and a long recovery, that is better, but I'm not sure it's completely gone. However, in the recent past, the pain has been spreading down to wrists, ankles, fingers, feet ... it seems to be radiating throughout her body. Some days are so bad that it's difficult to hold things in her hands without dropping it due to the pain. Sitting for long periods is difficult ... she needs to shift around into different positions to relieve various areas of pain. But she never ever complains. It's difficult to even ask her about it ... she's cautious to explain in such a way that draws attention to herself, or that could be construed as complaining. When I would try to understand more about it, usually Debbie jumped in to explain, since Karah would be very general and sketchy in her comments. We were just amazed by all of this ... and very grieved that she continues to suffer, apparently without knowing what's causing it all. Doctors have tried to figure it out, but without a lot of success. What they have found is something that's difficult to treat, and they aren't even sure why that would be causing her pain. Please pray for her. They managed to get an appointment with a specialist in February (I think it's this coming week) ... Debbie has her theories (being a nurse and also a good researcher, she thinks she's on to something...), and hopes that the doctor will be able to work with her to figure out a possible solution. At least they are hopeful that they may be on a trail that will lead to some level of relief, if not cure.

I learned a lot from Karah, although she probably doesn't know that. Well, I guess it isn't directly from her. The Lord has been teaching me things as I reflect on our time around Karah, and our awareness of her situation. And I have a lot to learn. The day before we left Brazil, as I anticipated packing up for our homeward journey, I awoke to a seized up back. Now, this isn't completely new for me, but to this degree was unusual. I tend to harbour tension in my lower back, so when stress mounts, the muscles tighten and I usually have some discomfort associated with it ... but not enough to prevent me from my tasks. Well, this was so bad, I couldn't fully straighten very easily, and I was in constant pain. Great. Our last day, I have so much to do, and want to enjoy a few more moments with the family ... and now this! I managed to get stuff packed up, rested when I could, and somehow it settled a bit for the long trip home. I thought it was recovering after that ... but maybe I was just so busy being back home I didn't pay attention to my body. But in the past 2 weeks, it's been creeping back up in the forefront again. For the past week, it's been terrible. I am in almost constant pain at some level with my back ... sitting is difficult, laying only works with an array of pillows under me in different positions ... driving places is very uncomfortable ... and to top it off, I have some kind of head cold thing happening that makes my head groggy on top of it all. And yes .... I'm not Karah .... and I'm complaining. ;) But I keep thinking back to her as I struggle with this, and it doesn't seem to get better. This morning I awoke thinking: I'm not doing ANYTHING today. But as I worked forward into the morning, I realized that won't make me feel better, and it won't make me forget the pain. So I decided to move forward, one step at a time. If I need to rest, I'll do it ... and then keep going. My motivation? I'm hoping that if I keep moving and help the girls with the usual Saturday house cleaning chores, if we get done in reasonable time, maybe we can do something FUN!

FUN you say? Yes. In doing a personality test recently, I realized my personality needs some FUN to lighten the work load. I haven't taken time for that very much. So maybe after the work is done, me & my girls can find something FUN to do, and that may be a better stress-reliever than lying around and feeling sorry for myself! (BTW ... hubby is off doing what he does best ... spending his Saturday working, but not for pay - rather serving our Toronto church family as they feverishly work to prepare their new facility to move in to it in a couple of weeks. He uses his skills to bless others, and we are thankful for that.) So, I need to learn to cope with and accept pain patiently, seeking the grace of God to carry me through it. But I also need to look for opportunities to enjoy life a little more, and allow God to relieve my stress through the good things in life that He allows us to enjoy!

2 Cor 12:9 (NLT) - "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."

Sorry for such a long story ... thanks for reading! (It was more therapy for me than anything else!) ....Corina